Also Be Cat ManDieted and exercised like a boss, 130lb 5'9 punk creampoof tattoo shop-bitch.
Please for the love of all that is sweet and good and sugar free in this world, DON'T be:6', 140lb tattooed Sex Pistols extra, covered head to toe in tattoos.
Rash6' 280lb dumpster fire human
It's ok if you beHis 5' nuthin baked potato wife
CatMOMlongterm audience of Gart's antics (I hesitate to use 'friend' because nobody likes Gart.)
Catman's mom, she's awesome.
We get to Catmom's house safely. Catmom is all "OH CATMAN I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER BUT I KNEW YOU'D COME HOME SOON." ETC. We're there for a week so I gear up for some hardcore pyjama olympics. The most effort I'm putting in is to change underwear at least once this week.So Christmas eve I open at the shop and then we do this crazy leg it thing to the airport but somehow arrive 6 hours early? WTF airports, I will never understand you.
Day one goes by without a hitch, we open presents, eat a tonne of food, it's great.MF planning this whole vacation.
So around lunchtime, I'm ass deep in a lazyboy watching Emperor's New Groove with nephew on my ipad and loving life when Catman gets a phone call.Boxing Day
After a few minutes he reenters the room looking a little crestfallen.Who the fuck even calls these days
LOL.1956
text like a real person
Gart is in town too, and has insisted we're meeting him for dinner and drinks tonight. Catman quickly adds that Orko will be there. Orko is pretty awesome so I think, "How bad can it be?" Besides, It's my first time in the city where Catman is from, so I figure a night of playing tourist is going to do wonders at keeping everyone calmed the fuck down.Catman face when he tells me that was Gart
MFW he says "That was Gart
WTF is Gart? I have never met only heard stories.
Gart was childhood friend of Catman. Or rather, Their dads were friends and would plop the little rug rats together in diapers and they've kind of been around each other ever since. Let me be explicitly clear, nobody actually likes Gart, we're not even sure his wife Rash does. But he's one of these people that's such a dumpster fire you can't leave him unsupervised. Catman doesn't enjoy seeing him and his wife, hates interacting with him and just occasionally feels this guilt of "I knew you at 5 years old I guess I'm supposed to like you or something and I feel bad that I don't." Gart at least is kind of treated like a black sheep member of the family, and Rash is just...largely ignored until Gart makes a mess and nobody wants to clean it up. Then Rash steps in. She's just as garbage as he is though.
We arrive and greetings are made.MFW we're only a block away and you tell me this now.
Having never met Gart and Rash before, I don't really know what to expect, but a sad mashed potato pile with a button down shirt stretched around it's lumps and it's sidekick mini Double Baked potato mumu are not it.GetOffMyFoot.fatass
These are not the vibrant punks and graffitos of Catman's childhood. The closest thing to colour on these two is Diabetes that rampages through Rash's body leaving her constantly slightly pink with infection and the wino glow that flushes Gart's alcoholic face purple.ElbowMeOneMoreTime.Asshole
Dinner starts uneventfully, Rash and Gart are gross but not embarrassing yet.Rash told me all about her diabetes in her introduction. I couldn't stop her.
My history of living abroad comes up, and before I can specify that I lived in the UK, Gart and Rash start talking about how great Ireland is and how they want to live there because they're Irish. Loudly.Low Bar there
Rash starts telling me graphic details about her diabetes and her family. She wants to move back to Ireland because they were wrongfully pushed out in the Famine.Oh ok
IS THAT WHY YOU CHOSE AN IRISH PUB FOR DINNER YOU OBVIOUS PLANKS?
I cautiously ask her about the potatoes, thinking hahahahahaha I'll make a potato joke.She says this while shovelling corned beef and gravy into her face. She eats only the meat.
weird.exe
Rash gives me a confused look. "What potatoes?"because irish and potatoes GEDDIT?
fuck it.
I look at the ceiling in hopes that a portal to another dimension has opened up so I can throw myself into it. Rash continues chewing in my ear and spraying food particles all over the table. "Oh I don't eat potatoes, it's an intolerance all REAL Irish people have since the Famine."Nevermind, BACK THE FUCK AWAY
Rash proceeds to explain to me that the Potato Famine in Ireland was a hoax created by the English to corner the potato market and subjugate the Irish. The Irish were told that the potatoes were poisoned and the REAL Irish just stopped eating Potatoes and in the 150 years since the potato famine, a REAL Irish person will be unable to digest potatoes because they've not had to process them in their diet for so long. Since she is "real" Irish, she cannot digest potatoes and some kinds of vegetables, she explains, and they make her really really sick if she eats them. It's also apparently where her Diabetes stems from.lolwat
What did I juts hear?
Let's take a short break to process what Gart and Catman are up to right now. At this same table, Gart starts out buzzed and goes from buzzed to hammered fairly quickly. Gart has become an offensive bully, but as Catman and Orko have known each other for so long, they both know how to shut him down. Orko is on form and just deflating his enormous egotistical belly with sarky little one liners. Orko really only associates with Gart and Rash because he finds them so entertaining to watch.Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh.
Can't say anything she might take it as encouragement
I start doing the whole yawn, stretch, "OH GOD IT'S SO LATE WILL WE HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO SLEEP BEFORE THAT SUPER EARLY THING WE GOT TOMORROW, GUY?" And Rash gets the hint.Clearly you're not done here.
Some of us would like to leave
like tonight maybe.
PLEASE?
nah bro she eating for two - Her inner crazy and her.
"I want to eat on the go" She tells the waiter.Ok maybe not really.
She asks for the second plate to be brought out in a to go bag.
Within about half an hour of waiting for Rash's food, we've paid the bill and we're outside walking back to our various modes of transport. Gart gets a second wind out of nowhere, and demands we go to this bar called Lava Lounge. It's a popular sort of young people bar, it's not too expensive but I don't think I've seen anyone over 35 in there. It's nearby, so I would normally be up for it, but given how hard we just had to play at being tired to get Gart and Rash to leave, we just all roundly say "NO", except Rash who grabs me and says "You'll have a drink right?" and drags me off in the direction of the bar.REALLY
Lava Lounge is dim, it's loud, made louder by Gart awkwardly rubbing his fleshy limbs across my face and neck every time he reaches for a beer or glass. The drunk idiot has wedged himself in a corner and Rash has wedged herself between his corner (which he is too big for) and myself (who doesn't have any room on the seat because of these two clowns). Rash asks me if I'd like to hear how she met Gart.AWWW HELL NAW.
Nobodys gonna challenge her on this?
REALLY Y'ALL JUST LET ME GET DRAGGED OFF BY A STRANGE CRAZY POTATO?
Fine.
She tells me anyway, and I ignore it and tune out. She doesn't seem to notice that I'm not so subtly signalling to Catman and Orko that I want out ASAP. I tune back in again when she rounds back on Gart for "eyeing up other women" in the bar.How Do You Politely Say FUCK YOU GROSS and leave?
Rash doesn't let Gart complete a sentence. He doesn't interrupt again which makes it seem like he's used to this. I become the unfortunate and unwilling witness to their domestic dispute.I didn't think he could see anything given how much he's drunk.
Like, I'm genuinely surprised he's conscious.
How can he see anything behind her giant body either, as she's sitting on his chest practically and blocking his view.
"But Rash you're a fat slob."Half baked potato half human genetically spliced experiments are usually rare, yes.
Guys, I wish I truly could show you this photo. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, but I wish I could show you. There are gleams where there shouldn't be gleaming. There's bulges where a bulge should not be. There's duct tape holding this costume shut across the back because the sides to the zip don't physically meet. Guys, there's sweaty fat rolls over everything. And pit stains even where armpits can't reach.Puke.mp4
Orko leans across the table to show me a photo on his phone. It's a potato in a sexy nurse PVC number.
I attempt to extricate myself because I realise this is what my limbs are trapped under. Also I have to pee. Rash and Gart don't like that something is moving undenext to them, so they look at me and tell me to stop elbowing them and interrupting them.HOW.WHY
NOPE.WTF
[email protected]
I get up, go to the bathroom and clean up, then purposely sit down on the other side of the table with Orko and Catman. Orko gets up like a gentleman without being asked, to let me scoot in next to Catman, and to also shield my outer defenses from the potato people.Dagger staring champion 2015 bitches
MFW
While this entire argument progressed, she ordered skittles drink after skittles drink. Every cocktail was bigger, rainbow-ier and sweeter than the last.The only truth in that sentence was the part where they're the best each other can hope for.
Such awful people.
After about an hour of this Catman and I leave with Orko to meet up with Catman's siblings who want to have drinks too and are nearby. We don't even say goodbye, Catman and Orko assure me this is pretty normal and we should just go.I would be worried about her diabetes but I've long ago stopped caring about her as a person.
She messages me instantly about the night we went out to dinner. Not a "it was great meeting you" or a "lets do it again sometime", but a warning to stay away from Gart. Because SHE was married to Gart and she didn't appreciate some stranger telling him to stop his diet and cut drinking and how touchy feely I was with him all night.grossno
Ugh but it's for Catman so....ok
Rash tells me that she's made sure to tell the entire family about my behaviour that night so that Catman's family all know what a dangerous person I am.I made a backhanded comment about how I couldn't drink as much as Gart did since graduating college. Only comment made about eating or drinking habits all night that wasn't from Rash or Gart.
Rash lambasts me for ordering so much food and rubbing it in the face of two poor sick people struggling with diabetes and obesity. "How dare you, rubbing it in our face like that, we get it, you can eat whatever you want."OK
Rash: "I am onto you. You can't steal my Gart from me."I was at that exact moment eating the leftovers of the one plate of salad I ordered and couldn't finish while sitting on the couch with Catman's mom.
....nah
I don't understand what's wrong with dressing up as Hitler. People dress up as mass murderers and tyrants all the time. If you can't separate a costume from the actions of that person, you're more of a child than the child wearing the costume.Or maybe mature, responsible adults realize what incredibly poor taste this is and actually considered how this might make other people feel?
Not surprising, but stupid. You can dress up as all sorts of ghoul/goblin or a psycho, killer, etc. But dress up as an actual historical figure, and you get shit for it.Because Hitler was a real monster. Jason Vorhees, Freddy and Dracula are fantasy, Hitler actually killed Millions of people.
Well... Fuck, why not? It's Halloween. Everyone gets to dress up as evil things... monsters, devils, zombies, Saddam Hussein, Genghis Khan, Vlad Dracula etc... Why is Hitler off the books? I mean it's not too soon. It's been 80 yrs.The reply
Because people like to tell others what they can and can't doNo one should have to tell not to dress as Hitler and go out in public, you should inherintly know this
I mean, it's clearly joke, people are too easily offended.
Questions | Answers |
---|---|
Has anyone ever asked you "Can I give you a hand?" and then realized you were missing one? | Well, I remember one time in middle school, I told a tech teacher I had a cold and he said "Oh my gosh, are you going to need an amputation?" I didn't think it was awkward at all, but after class he came and apologized. |
Every awkward moment in my life has had nothing to do with my arm. | |
You should've steered into it and guilted the shit out of him/her. | EDIT: I'm a dummy. |
Your teacher was a strange person. | He was my favorite teacher in Middle School because we had a lot in common. I was going through a really awkward phase but he would support me and make sure I was doing okay, and always answer my question. He had a learning disability so I guess he was a little weird, but because of that he made sure EVERYONE understood what they were doing, so they never had the same struggles he did. |
Mr. Garrett, if you're reading this, you're awesome. | |
How were you a baby in middle school? | Whoops, I commented on the wrong thing. Deleting that now... |
He sounds amazing, I wish everyone could have a teacher like that. | I've had lots of amazing teachers, I'm very grateful for what they've done for me. |
Does having one arm limit your sex life ? | I'm 15 years old, i don't have a sex life. |
But you said you switch hand while watching movie and masturbating hahaha | Masturbating isn't really sex, is it? |
When most Redditors say sex life... | They mean anything close to sex they can experience? |
You're too young to know. | I think living with it myself for 15 years AND trying prosthetics three times is enough to validate my decision, thank you. |
How do you click around porn websites while masturbating? That's like the best part of having two hands. | I switch arms. |
How exactly does that work? Im having a hard time understanding the physics of you using your handless arm for either activity? Did you mean one activity at a time or did you tape a tenga to your arm? | What I mean is I just rub it with my arm, not grasp it. Like, rub the sensitive part so I don't lose my stiffy. |
People like you are the reason I hate my generation. | Um, excuse me, but I never said I viewed this as a handicap. In face, I don't. I made this AMA not to brag, but to inform people what it's like to be missing a limb. You should be ashamed of yourself for calling out a child on the internet telling them to kill themselves. |
Please strangle yourself, OH WAIT!!! | Please go fuck yourself with a cactus. |
What is your biggest challenge, having no right (left?) arm? | First-Person Shooters and monkey bars. |
I also have trouble with monkey bars but for different reasons. I'm fat. | The struggle is real. |
Have you ever gotten weird looks in public? I can imagine people leaving you out because of the disability. Anyway, it's amazing to see how well you take everything and how easy life is for you (some people think that if one things wrong you're basically broken) | Most people think that it's actually pretty cool, and I've even had a parent with a baby with missing arms come up to me for advice. |
My mom said that there was this one time at a fair, when a mom pointed to me and said to her child "That's what happens to babies when their mommy does drugs." My mom didn't take too kindly to that. | |
It's definitely cool. It's like, it's there but not there #DEEP | Link to www.ripcitybadboys.com |
Advances in prosthetics are being made almost daily. Are you interested in getting an artificial hand should the opportunity present itself? | No, I am not interested in prosthetics because since I've always had one hand, it would be more unnatural to feel like I had two than to just stick with one. |
I've tried prosthetics 3 times, and it's been a bad experience each time. | |
What about a bionic hand? Like the terminator. | Nope, don't want any kind of prostchetic. |
What about a hook? | I would seriously consider getting a hook on my arm. Not lying. |
How so? | Well, I'd have to re-learn everything, I'd have to wear it constantly being all sweaty and stuff, it's uncomfortable. It would get more in the way than help me. |
What if it shot lasers? | Wouldn't that be kind of dangerous? |
Not even a laser gun? | I don't like shooting guns. I'm all for the right to bare arms, but I'd rather use my Tae Kwon Do experience to defend myself. |
Link to imgur.com | |
But then there will be only one hand to talk to. | With my sass it's all I need. ;) |
You say this, but we know you're lying. You know the second inspector gadget hands become a thing, you're getting one. Hell most people with regular arms would want one. | No really, I don't want one. That's like telling a gay person they'd want to become straight once people were able to. |
You would? When would you consider that? | I'd be the most bad-ass kid ever. I'd be a human clothing hanger. |
You'd be able to do so many more things. Like twice as many. | Very funny. |
Imagine jerking off with a bionic hand that shoots lasers. okay, almost done... Here it comes... "HOLY SHIT NOT AGAIN!! GODDAMN LASERS TRYING TO BLOW MY DICK OFF!!" | Link to imgur.com |
Dude..thats fucking awesome. | :) |
But you would consider that when? Now? Or when you want to be bad-ass? | Probably when I'm an adult and I'd make it removable. No arm attachment, just a suction cup with a hook at the end. |
You're gonna be a great adult. | I sure hope so! |
What is the sound of one hand clapping? | Here's an audio sample of my clapping: Link to vocaroo.com |
That sounded more like very aggressive fapping. But, so be it. | If anyone's fapping was that loud, I'd be concerned for his junk. |
What is the most difficult part about living with only one hand? | It's not that difficult to be honest. It's like i'm playing /outside on moderate difficulty. |
How do you play videogames? Do you even play games? | Yeah! I play lots of video games. |
I play video games with simpler controls like Mario, Pokemon, etc. | |
I can't really play first-person shooters and most PC games because of the complex controls, like holding the A button and R button at the same time. I've tried to use my leg, but it never really works out. | |
I don't like violent games anyways, so it's not like I feel like I'm missing out. | |
Ben Heck offers one handed controllers. | Amazing! Maybe he could do a Wii U controller? |
You should play hearthstone! | I'll look into it. Not really into that magic-y stuff though. |
I think what you want is the Stinky Board. | Wow! I never knew technology like this existed! |
What's your favorite Pokemon? | Snorlax. |
What Pokemon game are you currently playing ? | I'm not playing anything right now, but the last one I played was X. I beat it then got bored of it. |
I played x too. I was upset when I realized there was nothing big to to after defeating the elite 4. I recommend playing either heart gold or soul silver 16 gyms! | I played that in the 5th grade but could never beat the Elite Four. :( |
Are you at least excited for the remake of ruby and sapphire ? | Not really. I didn't like Hoenn. |
Thanks. had my first when I was 3-4 years. Could not live without one. Only issue is if you gain/lose too much weight, it becomes too tight/loose If I hear some interesting news, I'll let you know. | :) |
Easily my favorite region. What other games do you have for the 3ds? | Super Mario 3D Land, Animal Crossing, Tetris, Mario Bros. 2, and a few others that I can't remember. |
Are you left handed or right handed and is that the one you actually have? | Um, my left hand is the only one I have, so I'm left-handed. |
You have on idea how many people have asked me this question. Then, I respond right, and they get confused because I don't have a right hand. | |
Do you ever make awkward moments for other people and play pranks on them? I read below You like to tell people you are right handed despite not having a right hand, but is there anything else? | No, not really. Sometimes I'll be holding things and be like "I wish I had two hands right now!" |
Has anyone called you Jaime Lannister lately?:( | No, I don't know who that is. |
I'm disappointed, son. | I don't really watch television, let along Game of Thrones. |
I see some authentic cosplay in your future. | I'm not into Star Wars though... |
But, I do want to cosplay Tierno from Pokemon X/Y. | |
What do you do when a situation calls for a handshake? Do you just use your other hand? Do you explain why? | Depends. I used to just use my handless arm all the time since most people shake with their right, but now I'm more accustomed to just flipping my left upside down and shaking that way. My father wants me to do it that way to avoid the awkwardness of people not wanting to touch it. |
I want to shake someone's nub so badly right now! | You can shake mine if you want. |
How do you game? | By pressing the buttons. |
Interesting concept, by I don't fully understand. | I use my arm with no hand for A, B, X, Y, and the R button, so I can't press another button and the R button at the same time, and I use my left hand for the joystick and L button. |
I am referencing a Wii U Controller and 3DS. | |
How did it happen? Did they say it was genetic or was it a botched medical procedure? Would you ever accept a new hand if it became medically feasible or are you like those deaf people who don't want to gain hearing? | My mother says it was Amniotic Band Syndrome. To be honest, I don't know if I'd accept a new hand or not. Sure it'd be nice, but I'd lose something that makes me part of who I am. |
You could always try it out and then saw it off if it turned out to not be your thing. | I don't think it works that way... |
My great-grandfather fought in the Greek Civil War and he lost his entire right arm. His son emigrated to the UK, and I never got to see him. He apparently killed himself, although I'm not too sure why exactly. Anyway, would you be able to drive a car? And if you could, would you do so? | Yes, I'd be able to drive a car, but I'm not sure how exactly I'd go about that. I actually got my permit yesterday and I start driver's ed. on the 27th. |
Does this allow you to carry out any good practical jokes? | Do stupid jokes count? |
Of course. | Yes. Lots of arm jokes and one-liners. |
2.) If you could communicate with them, do you think that giant redwood trees, Venus flytraps, or daffodils would tell you the best jokes? | 2) Venus Fly Traps! Redwood jokes would be too mature for me to find funny, and daffodils would just be giant dicks. |
I laughed. Damn those asshole daffodils. Imgur. | I just set it as my desktop background. xD. |
Have you ever thought about putting a hook or something similar on it? | If I could take the hook off, I think I would seriously consider it. I'd be the coolest kid on the block. |
Do you know what caused this to happen? | I lost my hand from Amniotic Band Syndrome. Fun Fact: I was born 3 months premature, but that had nothing to do with my arm being lost. |
So I'm assuming you don't have phantom pain then? | Nope. I'm not an amputee, so no phantom pain for me! |
Have you ever felt embarrassed because you only have one hand? From the sounds of it, you seem like a confident guy. | Hell no! It's awesome! |
No, you're awesome. After reading through all of your comments here, I wish I was as confident as you when I was 15. | I was actually pretty introverted and negative-spirited just 2 years ago. After middle school I opened up a lot. I still have blunders and embarrassing moments, but at least I stopped buzz-cutting my head. |
This was me a year and a half ago: Link to fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net | |
This was me tonight: Link to scontent-a-sea.xx.fbcdn.net | |
You are one suave mother fucker. That is one helluva good head of hair. | Aw, thanks! I'm just hoping this isn't my "Peak" |
Edit: Emoticon fail. | |
What made you open up after middle school? | There was this AskReddit thread where this guy posted how to become more confident, and it consisted of dressing better, good posture, making small talk, etc. I realized that the reason I wasn't popular with anyone was because I wasn't making a good enough effort. And the new school year was coming up, so I thought it would be a great opportunity. Next thing I know all through September and October, I'm getting tons of compliments on my hair, clothes, etc. But I didn't just accept them, I complimented back, because I wanted people to feel good, too. I also started making friends with a wide variety of people, some of them are really introverted and stay on Tumblr or Reddit all day, and others are very social, hanging out with their girlfriends and posting to Facebook and Snapchat. It's kind of crazy that just inspiration from a simple post on the internet changed me so much over a year. |
Just keep pushing yourself and always doing your best, and you'll never really hit your peak! Well, maybe eventually, but not until you're old and sick and dying. | I'll keep that in mind, thanks! I always have enough stress going on in my mind, I shouldn't be worrying about something else. |
That's fantastic, and very mature. Instead of 'poor me' (regarding your social life) you took action on more than one level. Smart. | I just wanted to be cooler, to be honest. My whole motivation was to get more popular and stop being a loser. :0D. |
Do you use the singular term when referring to your hand? Or do you still say hands? Like, "I was crawling on my hand and knees." | Yeah. |
Did you cosplay Luke SKywalker during Halloween? | No. I don't like Star Wars. please don't hurt me. |
How do you type effectively? | I use my index and middle finger and arm for the keys. I don't really use my ring and pinky. |
Try to also use the ring finger and thumb and you'll be typing quicker than most people in your surrounding. | Ironically, I type better than most people in my tech classes already. |
Have you ever been arrested or put in handcuff(s)? | Nope. Don't plan on it either. |
Hey man! I also primarily use one hand (I have two hands, but my left is almost nonfunctional due to cerebral palsy) my question is, what is your favorite game system to use if you play video games? I like the wii remote myself. | I'm a HUGE Nintendo fanboy, so anything Nintendo related is right up my ally. Gameboy, Gamecube, Wii, all of it! Except N64, that controller is super funky. Please don't lynch me. |
Nobody thinks the N64 controller is designed well. | Everyone thinks the console was the best thing since sliced bread, though. |
True, but even people with two hands had too few hands to use that controller. | Link to images.nintendolife.com |
Ahh yes. The minipad. You can also get a Superpad. They're really good. But there are two superpads- one that looks like this: Link to encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com and one that looks like Link to encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com The former is better. I still want one, but they cost a decent amount of money. Would it be easier to play N64 with such a controller? Especially for you, as someone with only one hand? | Yes, very much so. |
How do you make sandwiches or butter toast and stuff like that without it sliding everywhere? | I place the bread on a surface then put my nub on the side of the bread and butter against it. |
===SPOILER:=== ===SPOILER:=== ===SPOILER:=== Finn, the protagonist recently lost his arm. He seems to be doing well, but not everyone does. What would you like to say to a boy who also has to live with one hand?" | Well, if I had to give advice to another person who was living with one hand assuming it was amputated, it's no not give up. Sure, it's pretty weird, but it's really not that different from two hands after all, you can get a prosthetic if you want to, or choose to go on au natural. |
What's your typing speed in WPM? | Depends. Anywhere from 45-60 WPM. |
Do you have a pool? Is it hard to swim in it? | No, it's not hard to swim at all! It feels complete natural. I've seen a girl with no arms and legs win swimming competitions, because really all you need is some joints and a little meat on your limbs. |
How long can you swim for? | Depends. Probably 3 hours or so, then I'd be really tired. |
How much can you use your arm that doesn't have a hand? To what extent can you carry things, push things, etc with that arm? | I use it frequently, but not as much as my other hand. I can carry and push things just fine, that arm's just not as strong. |
What caused it? | Amniotic Band Syndrome. |
Has there ever been a moment when doing something when you've thought god damn this would be so much easier if I had another hand? | Sometimes. Like monkey bars are pretty hard. |
Do you find it difficult to make friends because of your missing hand? | No. I'm pretty good at small-talk. |
Do you have any career plans yet? Does your missing hand have any effect on those plans? | I'm not sure what I want to do in life, probably something in the performing arts. Being an actor with one hand would be quite the challenge, and I'd probably have to get a prosthetic. :( |
Ever use your awesome stump during sex? | If someone's insides could handle it's girth. |
How often do you think about how life could be bettegreater with another hand? | Almost never. Sometimes I try to think of what's it's physically like to have both hands, and I can't. It's too weird! |
I'm asking the question for which we all want to know the answer. When you play the Wii, how do you use the nunchuck/Wii remote combo? | No. I use the rectangle thingy alone, and a classic controller. |
Oh. Lame. Have you ever considered sending Nintendo a letter mentioning your emotional trauma in not being able to play Nunchuck-required games? You can fake it a little. Maybe you'll get a nice sum of money. I wouldn't recommend it and it probably won't work but it could be cool to try out. | I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. |
You sound like a real confident guy OP, i wish i had your confidence now at 19 :p Does this "handicap" had any influence on what you want to do with your future, in terms of for example plans for your job? | I want to an actor, but my arm might be a problem. |
Boy, you're adorable. Confident and cute. What's your favorite subject? Are you a freshman or a sophomore? Fellow 15 Year Old Girl. | My favorite subjects are History and English. I'm a freshman. |
Same fav subjects, but I'm a Soph. :) PS. Can you do a handstand on your one hand? | No, I can't. I'm not strong enough. |
How do you feel about people who have it obviously a lot easier than you complain about their every day things? | I have my share of first-world problems as well. And life isn't really that hard. It's not like I need 5 extra fingers to breathe or something. |
What's your favourite movie? | The LEGO Movie! |
Do people stare at your arms once they see you don't have one hand? | Yeah, but most of the time it's little kids that stare. I feel bad because I know they want to ask a question, but they're too scared. So they just stare. |
I've read through every comment on this thread, and you seem like the most awesome person in the world. I'm a 16 year old female. Can we be BFFs? | Aw, that just made my day! We can totally be BFF's. |
Are you all right? | I'm great! |
Have they made a prosthetic dick yet? | Actually, they have! :) |
He's not legally allowed to look at pornography. No one should be viewing pornography at that age. It wires the brain in all kinds of bad ways. | Thank god for this comment. Now I'll stop watching porn and masturbate to my bedroom ceiling to save my brain. |
Lol. That's pretty funny. Lets celebrate with a high twenty. | Had to get my old prosthetic hand for this one. |
Link to imgur.com | |
Lol. That's pretty funny. Lets celebrate with a high twenty-one. | No. |
ITT: Nintendo and jacking off. Great AMA. | You know it. |
What's life like with one hand | Well, it's pretty much just life with two hands. If you have something since birth, you just learn to adapt, and it never bothers you. You just live life like normal, I guess. |
I'm sure the can get him a stump condom. | Link to i.ebayimg.comBBmV8QBRsubn18,!~~60_35.JPG) |
Hi! 15 y/o in [nearly the same boat.] (Link to i.imgur.com Here's me: Link to i.imgur.com Would have made an album but it's like 2 am and I just had to comment. | Hello, fellow weird-armed brethren. |
You must pleasure yourself with your left hand. How very exotic. | ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ. |
Well donrme trenton. Pretty cool .. | I always like to get things donrme the best way. |
I think you're actually perfect, but I digress. No questions, just thought I'd tell you that I think you have a lovely attitude and amazing sense of humor :) | Thaaanks! |
How do u play league of legends. | I don't play LoL. |
SORT UR LIFE OUT BOY. | I'm not into RPG's. |
That looks pretty hard to live with, maybe someone could lend you a hand? | I get that all the fucking time. Even my principal gave me a paper "R" and said "I heard you need an R!" (Play on the word arm) |
Questions | Answers |
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What policy does the CW have on children (you mentioned that it had changed in you post)? Thank you for your interesting AMA! | Back in the day, it was- are you an employee? Do you have a child? Well, come bring them to the costuming department once a year and have them fitted for their wardrobe. Now they only have volunteer programs (for any children, not only employees)called Junior Interpreters. It's a really great program! |
Those are moose. Really? That's just sad :C. | Yeah working there makes you realize how little contact people have with farm animals. Also how little they know about their own country's history. |
At what age does a deer become a moose? | Only after they die and come back as deer zombies... that's what a moose is. |
I heard a story on NPR about a black man who played the part of a slave and said he couldn't count the number of times a white child would ask his parents to buy him so they could set them free. Any experience with this? | OH Man, yeah some of the stuff that is said to you will blow your mind. I think it's a rule that when people go on vacation they leave their brains behind. The worst I got was sexually inappropriate things said to me. However, I have black friends who got some pretty ignorant stuff said to them. |
Didn't you say you only lived there as a child? D: people said sexually-inappropriate stuff to a child? | This was cleared up early in the thread. I also came back during my college years to work there on the summers, that's when the sexual harassment stuff happened, but it wasn't an everyday thing. I have no regrets growing up there and working there. |
I presume you responded to the sexually-inappropriate comments by charging him with lewdness and sending him to the stocks? | Oh man! Should of done that. |
"Sexually inappropriate things" - but weren't you no older than 8? That person likely had all kind of fucked up noise in their head long before they left for vacation. | No this is when I worked there during my college years. |
You must stay after school and write "I should have done that" 500 times on the chalkboard, Miss Ewoktuna. :P | Ahhhhh... saw what you did there. |
Were you home schooled? Are there people who have lived there longer, into their teens and such? | No I went to our local public school, about 500 kids (I have a picture of it in my proof). The school was right next to the governor's palace (right on the edge of CW) Almost all of the kid's parents work for the foundation (CW has over 1,000 employees) we all thought this was normal. On a side note, I used to get carriage rides to school. |
Governor's PALACE? Looking at my paycheck and seeing the amount of taxes taken out has just made me very angry. | Don't worry, a Governor hasn't lived in that place for years... plus I think that's how the colonists felt right before the revolution. |
Tell some stores? | My favorite is when my family moved out to the suburbs near Jamestown. The day we moved in my sister and I didn't go to school to "help" my dad unpack. In the afternoon all the neighborhood kids started to come home. Our new home was on a cul-de-sac so all the kids started to play baseball. My sister and I went out to join them and instantly made friends. However, when dinner time rolled around all the moms and dads started to call the kids into their homes. So we all decided to meet up after dinner. Well, being good CW kids my sister and i start hiding all the toys in bushes, behind rocks, and a porch near by. All the kids watched us and were like WTF, why you doing that? My sister and I tried to explain, "We need to hide them so THEY don't see. If THEY see we get in trouble." Totally freaked out the other kids. However, my sister and I were used to hiding our toys after we played outside so tourists wouldn't see our modern things. CW actually gave us designated hiding places for bikes, grills, trash cans and all and any outdoor stuff. If you go to the backs of the houses you will see theses fenced off, enclosed places, peek in and you'll see the future. |
Why did you end up moving away from CW? | My parents wanted to have their own home. |
Did you find that a lot of modern day luxuries were denied due to your living situation? | Very good question. The house we lived in had 20th century amenities (electricity, running water, plumbing) but we had to make it seem that it didn't. The house had three floors. The lowest floor was like a basement (mostly underground). This is where we did most of our living (Kitchen, washedryer, dinning room, Tv/living room) because it was where the visitors (tourists) couldn't look in. Our 2nd floor was all show (period furniture, no electronic appliances) This is where visitors could look in. The 3rd floor was our bedrooms ( i shared a bedroom with my sister). |
Did you ever find yourself spending time on the 2nd floor? Just reading or recreating? | Yes, my sister and I would have friends over and dress them in our colonial clothes and have tea parties out in the garden. However, I was scared of our 2nd floor because we had these two paintings we call the Ancestors. They are of my mother's great great grandparents and they scared the loving poo-poo out of me. (My mother in a Masshole and has a direct line to the mayflower.) We are talking scary puritan paintings. |
Do you have a photo of "the Ancestors"? | I wish I did they were terrifying. |
What is a masshole, sounds terribly intersting. | It is a person from Massachusetts. |
Direct line to the Mayflower eh? We might be distantly related then. My 13th great grandfather was William Bradford. Then again, thousands of people can say the same thing. BTW, I visited Colonial Williamsburg in the summer of 1989 when I had just finished up 5th grade. Were you there at the time? | Yup! I was 5 years old. |
My mother in a Masshole and has a direct line to the mayflower. By a coincidence, I was reading about the Mayflower yesterday (I now have no recollection of why). Are you a member of the Mayflower Society? | My grandfather is. |
I take it you've had no inclination to join yourself? Might I ask what is your opinion of the Society &/or it's members? I have the impression that they're very posh. | It is a lot of people obsessed with Genealogy. Which isn't bad, but yes there are some very posh people involved, but there also very normal working class people that are a part of it. There are a lot of decedents from the mayflower families, most of the time you are related to more then one family. He is a part of it because our decedent is Miles Standish (The captain of the Mayflower), he's very proud of this. |
I had the impression that the Society was more of a general social club for posh people, than about genealogy. Is this a misapprehension on my part? For the record, I'm British, and I don't really know where I got this idea - maybe a movie I saw years ago, or something. | It's all about the genealogy...if you go to Cape Cod and meet locals (some of which own homes that have been in their families for a long time). They are some gruff, drive to the dump, yard selling, penny pinching working class. |
I've heard that the CIA uses colonial williamsburg as a kind of practical field training ground for agents headed on assignment to foreign countries. Practicing how to follow people, dewdrops, and the like. Did you ever witness this? | WOW! I had not heard or seen this before (I guess they're doing a good job). |
What's your thoughts on that guy from SF that bought that mansion (Carter Grove?) in CW and let it fall into disrepair? | That is the worst thing that has happened. That place is very dear to me for so many reasons. My father would take us out there every weekend because he had animals housed on the property (this is when CW still owned it). We would go down on the beach and collect fossils and sharks teeth. We would also go hiking on the property, climb trees that had huge bouncy branches and pick daffodils. I have been privileged in the fact that anytime I want to visit my child hood home it has been unchanged and will always be so, but this place I can not and that makes me very sad. |
Did tourists constantly flirt with you? | When I was a child, NO! However, when I was in College I worked at CW during the summers and during those 4 years... yes! A lot of flirting (mostly unwanted). My favorite story was when a I was 20 a troop of boy-scouts collectively tried their one-liners out on me (they were all probably 11 or 12). |
"Mind helping me out with my Poontang Badge?" | I wish they had used that one! Theirs were more like... "BOOOOOOBIES!!! they're cool." (they were 11) |
Hi! I'm a student at William and Mary and I just wanted to say thanks for clearing up some of these questions! I had wondering if the off limits buildings were for show and now I know normal families live there. Where is your favorite place to visit in CW? Also love your username. | You're welcome. Also, congrats for going to the second oldest college in America (Damn you Harvard!!!). I LOVE ( like Pee-Wee-Herman marrying fruit salad kind of love) The Cheese Shop! Best Sandwiches in the world! Also I love driving on the Colonial Parkway and swimming on the beach. However, the best is the brick yard. I used to work in the brick yard and the Talbots in Merchant Square has all the bricks I made on the facade. (Side note, almost lost my toes in the brick yard, so those Talbots bricks have something extra in them.) |
How awesome was it growing up there? Are there any blacks that work at CW? If so, what do they do? Who is your favorite historical figure? How do you go about applying to live there? | Hmmm, you're not from around these parts are you? Well Lets clear one thing up If by "blacks" you mean, people of African decent, then yes, they do work there. Yet, let me make this clear CW is an Equal Opportunity Employer so we have many people of different races, religions, sexual orientation etc... Now this is where it gets confusing. Not all Black employees are reenactors of slaves. Any body can be interpreters, managers, archaeologists, researchers... hell CW even has a film crew! Yet, Only Black employees can be reenactors of slaves, and there are so many different stories to be told during that time period; Freed Africans, Preachers, tradesmen... there's more to the past then what you think. However, I am glad that CW has made a point to make sure they show just how awful that period of our past was. For instance 60% of the population in CW during the 1780's was slaves. They were the majority of people living there. As a kid I was really effected by this. My friends, neighbors, most of my teachers and my local hero (an African story teller) were of African decent. Slavery and all of it's history was very hard for me to understand, especially when I was very little. Yet, I lived with it all around me. It is still something that haunts the bejesus out of me. |
So, I'm someone who just loves historical reenactments but as an Asian American in the US I feel like if I participated in something like CW I'd have to play some pretty specialized role, if any, or visitors would have to really suspend disbelief around me. Were there ever Asians (or other minorities besides African Americans/blacks) at CW and what roles did they play? | YES! One of my good friends was an Asian (half white/Japanese) Interpreter. It is illegal to not hire you based on your race. So, they have to deal with it. Plus, this is ALL of our history, no matter what race, religion or what ever you are. If you're American, it belongs to you. If you love it you should be able to do it. |
Did you ever like go to the mall or something in period dress and get made fun of? | LOL! If you have ever gone to Williamsburg VA you will always see people in period dress going to the grocery store, running errands, getting a beer after work. technically you're not allowed to wear the costumes outside of the museum, they are property of the foundation and very, VERY expensive. However, everyone does it. The most taboo thing you can do is work somewhere else in the costume without getting permission. (this is mostly the case for reenactors doing stuff on their own time.) |
Thanks for answering all of these questions! Do you have any "historical skills" most people today don't? (ie spinning, etc) Also, dumb observation but you look like an adult version of Felicity from American Girl and that makes me happy idk. | LMFAO!!! When I was an interpreter almost every little girl holding an American girl doll would run up to me shouting Felicity! I would sit down with them and say I'm not Felicity, but I know her and is there anything you would like to tell her? I can tell her for you. Also I was a kid when Felicity became an American girl doll. They had a big ta-do in CW and put on a televised play. My sister was Lizzy her friend. Also I remember the actress who played Stephanie from Full House came. We got a picture with her, good time had by all. |
Was this before stephanie tanner got into drugs and then ended up marrying some cop? | Before...I think. This was early 90's. |
Did you ever get tired of yelling HUZZAH? My boyfriend works at CW making reservations, but hopes to move to a position that utilizes his history degree soon. He gets mad when we drive up there (We live in Newport News) and I yell HUZZAH at him every time I see a sign for the restaurant. | I WILL never get tired of screaming HUZZAH!!! |
Alright, I live really close to CW and have gone there alot. But there is one thing I have to know. How the hell do you deal with the horse poo everywhere? Do you get used to it or have a trillion air freshners? | LOL! Wow, you see this is a huge joke in my family because for almost 30 years my father has worked with the animals directly. I grew up mucking, feeding all the animals there. I loved farming so much I even went to a farming high-school in Vt. So for me that kind of stuff is just life. Also it's authentic to the time period. Just be thankful CW doesn't go all the way and make it like it used to really be in the 18th century. The road went all the way up to the buildings (no sidewalk) and it was a foot deep of mud and crap (human and animal). |
Are natives depicted at Colonial Williamsburg? | Not as much as Jamestown. By the time period Williamsburg is depicting (1690-1780's) most Native Americans had moved out to the Piedmont areas (central VA). |
Is there any way the locals are expected to speak? Do you adopt an accent or a formal way of speaking? | NO!!!! Thank goodness. At Plymouth they all have to stay in character (accent, no modern knowledge of technology and so on). At CW Reenactors do that and they usually are representing a specific historical person. The Interpreters are the ones you will main see and interact with. They are like guides to the past. They wear the clothes and know the history but they are allowed to acknowledge the present. |
Have you ever read Running Out of Time by Margaret Peterson Haddix? Or watched M Night Shyamalan's The Village? (not recommended) | When I saw the Village It really, really reminded me of home. |
Did your home also have a stupid plot? | Only for the ghost tour. |
I give (unauthorized, unofficial) ghost tours around CW. Is your house the one with the hedge story? | I don't know, please go on... |
I'm a student at William & Mary too! I took the Ghost Tour when I first started going there, and still enjoy an occasional walk through CW. I used to work at the Bloom store (now Food Lion) on Richmond Road and would always see the "townies" come in wearing their colonial outfits going shopping. I didn't start until after you left, I presume, but I bet you came in there in wardrobe at some point, didn't you? Do you ever come back to visit? You mentioned in a comment that you had to hide your toys and everything. Has a tourist ever caught you doing something / in possession of something 20th century? While I'm on the subject, what's the most taboo or "bad" thing you've done with regards to the colonial impression you were supposed to be giving off? Did you know about this? | Yes I did go to it, but only when it was food lion. 2.Yes, my parents still live there. 3.I was a constant source of anxiety for my mom because I loved running around naked and I also had, what I lovingly called, barbie grave yards. I used to chew my barbies legs and arms off (because I chewed everything), cut their hair, and give them "make-up" (Sharpie pens). They did not look very good, but I loved them. I would go out to our yard (In CW), pop their heads off make little graves, place them in, bury them, put a stick in the ground to mark the grave and then place the head on the stick. I would spend a lot of time placing shells and flowers around them. My mom had a shoe box with "ewoktuna's barbies" written on the side and she would wait till I was done, dig them up and then put them in the box. I know many tourists saw this horrifying ritual many times. Also, I love that SNL Skit. Also was one with Britney Spears churning butter. |
Did you go to Matthew Whaley? | YESSSSSS! |
Student who goes to W&M here, lived in the dorm closest to CW. I just wanna say thanks for making an awesome place even more awesome. Funniest thing you've ever seen while you lived there? | The runners on DOG street. A group of men would wake up at 7am (when we would be getting to work) running in speedos. Got to get up early to catch the worm;) |
Did the kids tell a story about a ghost in the attic when you went? That was the cool thing to do when I was in 1st grade there. | Yes the ghost of Mathew Whaley, and when we had Colonial Day the gym teacher dressed up as the ghost. So twisted. |
I'm surprised it's not a more common choice for the kids' Halloween costume parade. | I LOVED THE COSTUME PARADE! When the Matthew Whaley kids would march down DOG street in their costumes! I loved that, Halloween is still my favorite holiday. |
Crazy to see about half a thread about William and Mary! I love it. Any experiences with any of the haunted places there? Going to the maze is a great way to get a girl right in your arms :) | Well, when I was little our house used to be on the ghost tour... scared the living hoo-ha out of me. My sister convinced me that our attic had a ghost in it. I pointed out one day that the only noises that came from the attack were pigeon noises. She changed her story to that our attic was haunted by pigeon ghosts. I believed her. |
Quite an interesting subject to do an AMA on! My question would be, do you and your family seem to appreciate modern things more, or take them less for granted, when you've grown up seeing how it was "in days of yore"? | Wow! Great question. I think it has impacted me in the way that I really don't like living with too many things and have always tried to be self-sufficient. I was brought up raising animals, growing our own food and knowing how to make things by hand. I love pickling and making jam, knitting and having a garden still. Also everyone in my family is obsessed with history. |
What happened if/when people broke character? | I have never seen a reenactor break character, they are so dedicated. |
Are you familiar with the South Park episode? Are they THAT dedicated? | I just re-watched this episode and I love it. We would only use the "what's that metal horseless carriage you got there." When we want a good laugh or when the visitor initiates... They love that stuff! CW mostly has Interpreters they know what year it is and are like time guides. |
I got lost in the maze when I was 5 and thought I was going to die. | My friends and I used to jump over the brick wall that separated Mathew Whaley school from the governors palace, hide in the maze hedges and throw rocks at the visitors walking through. Thought it would make them think it was haunted. |
AAAAH Do they still have that general store (on mainish street) that sells the kick ass (old fashion) ginger ale and cornbread? That was my favorite part of Colonial Williamsburg. | YESSSSS!!! and the best sugar cookies and hot cider around!!!! |
Is there any part of the area that might be "off-menu", where it's a great place to see but it's not well advertised? My wife and I spent 3 days there, bought passes, and got to see almost all the major attractions, but what would you recommend? Thx. | Go to Jamestown, It is so beautifully laid out for the public. A GREAT MUSEUM. Also bike Jamestown Island, it is beautiful. Make sure you go to the mental hospital museum in CW, that's fun. |
Going on honeymoon to Williamsburg soon, any places you would recommend to stay or visit in or around the area? | GO to History.org I would say if you have the money stay at one of the Inns!!! Fabulous! And For good-golly-molly go to the visitor center and get a good ticket that lets you go into everything. Get a weekly map (because they tell you the special events). Also go to Bucsh Gardens and ride some roller coasters! Have fun and buy some of their soap and candles (smell so gooooood). Plus if you see a big English man on an ugly bike that's my dad! |
Do you eat/know how to cook foods from that era? | Some, but not really. I do know how to milk a cow by hand, make cheese and butter. I also know how to slaughter a chicken in the old style (And I've done it). They had a short curved knife that you stick in the mouth and then pull up through the brain. I also know how to sheer a sheep with hand sheers. |
HUZZAH! | HUZZAH |
You might be interested in the young adult book Past Perfect by Leila Sales, which is about a teen girl living at a colonial reenactment museum with a rival Civil War museum down the road. It's a great read for history nerds. Since you mention you now live in New England, do you think New England treats its colonial past differently than VA? If so, is it for the better or the worse? | Wow! Good question. I think not. But they definitely teach the civil war differently. |
I love riding my bike through CW in the middle of the night. Is that frowned upon? | No! DOG street is a public street. Just don't scream HUZZAH at the top of your lungs. |
I'm assuming you ate a lot of locally grown food. Did your family have their own garden? Was there a community garden? And what about produce and meat? How does one go about living and working at Colonial Williamsburg and is there anywhere that has more information about it? Favorite time of year in CW? | We had a huge veggie garden behind Christinana Cambell's Tavern, but we shopped at the grocery store too. However, we did do a lot of pickling and jam making. We went to this great farm called Bushneck Farm, great fruit trees and berry bushes. My dad also loved making his own bread. |
That's awesome! My husband has recently been into making his own bread. He made his own sourdough starter and has been using that. I have to say, this is the most awesome AMA. My husband has been bugging me to get on Reddit and this is the AMA that got me hooked! | Yeah!!!I've been Redditing for a while, but never did anything big. My Husband made me do this AMA... go husbands! |
Do you know how to make a candle? | Yes. |
This may be a somewhat awkward question, but just how far did the accuracy of the wardrobe go? did it go all the way down to period acurate undergarments? if so what were those like? | I think I already answered this, but I can understand the curiosity. The Chemise or Shift was the "underwear". No underwear or bra's. Stays were the closest thing to a bra. For the people wearing the costumes, it is up to them how "accurate" they want to be. I wore underwear, they really tried to emphasize that it's ok to wear underwear. |
Wow, this AMA is awesome; I LOVED colonial Williamsburg & visited whenever I was in VA Beach. Did you drink that home-made root beer everyday? salt water taffy? I would've. That shit was like crack. That smell of the wood chips use to really tickle my fancy, did you even notice it or was it just natural to you? | The smell of the tobacco pipes and the sell of the wood fires are some of my favorite smells and they remind me of my childhood. |
Oh wow! I was an actor interpreter there for 6 months last year after graduating from William and Mary. Living in the past for work is one thing, but growing up doing it... What was it like when you left? Did you miss living like a colonial? | I was sad, but mostly because I couldn't go into work with my dad like I used to. My sister and I were brought up in the stables and it felt like a second home (plus always saw my dad), so it was sad when we didn't get to live close. |
Why are there so many fucking pancake houses there? | My favorite is Mamma Steve's ... oh god that place haunts my dreams! |
My family and I will be passing through CW in September, but would only have about 3-4 hours there... is it worth is to buy the passes, or just walk thru the town for free? Seems like the hefty price wouldn't be worth it just for a few hours. Is there a lot to see without buying passes? | Yeah walk through on DOG street and get lunch in a tavern or in Merchant Square. It's not enough time. |
When I was a kid we would go to CW every year. I have very fond memories of the place. The hedge maze is awesome. Really, everything there is so much fun. But our family always loved the food in all the taverns - it was so delicious and just a blast. I remember one time we got the all you can eat pass (does that still exist?). But, my favorite food had to be the gingerbread cakes. I have heard that they recently changed the recipe and they are more like a gingersnap than a gingerbread cake. WHY?! | I know, I haven't tried the new ones so I can't say if everything is ok. |
Do you want kids? And if so, will you raise them where you grew up? | I do and, I want to raise them in New England. |
Does electricity amaze you or just frighten you? | LIGHTS!!!! BADDDDD!!! |
Would there be any work for a guy whos chinese? (I don't think china was very active in the americas in the 18th century...) | Yes!!! It doesn't matter what race you are you can work at CW. They are equal opportunity employers. Plus they have non-costume jobs too. |
But I was hoping to play a Qing merchant or dignitary thought both would be highly unlikely to appear in a then small colony. | YES, Please do this, I would love to just see you walk around DOG street like that! |
My wife and I honeymooned in Williamsburg back in 2001. I love Williamsburg and the entire Hampton Roads area. Anyway, we were driving to a diner one night and got pulled over. The cops pulled their guns on us and started screaming at us. Long story short, they thought the "just married" sign, and car full of dishes and towels was suspicious. One cop tried to come up with a lame excuse that the road we were turning down was full of drug addicts. I turned onto that road because he pulled me over. I laugh at this memory, but that sure sticks out as a unique Williamsburg experience for me. Is there really a "rough end" of Williamsburg? | No, not really. Maybe out in the sticks, but nothing too bad. |
Thanks. I knew those cops were coming up with stories to justify pulling guns on me and my wife. | That is crazy! |
I went to Matthew Whaley and was in the same grade as your sister - your mother was our school art teacher and my father was a balladeer in the taverns, Small world! | YES!!!!!!! I'm going to tell both my mom and sister about this. My older sister lives in New Zealand now. She's going to love this. |
Yes!!! It doesn't matter what race you are you can work at CW. They are equal opportunity employers. Plus they have non-costume jobs too. | I used to work in their film department. |
I worked at CW last summer and I'll be doing my PhD in American history at William & Mary starting next month - great place! | Congrats. |
We had a huge veggie garden behind Christinana Cambell's Tavern, but we shopped at the grocery store too. However, we did do a lot of pickling and jam making. We went to this great farm called Bushneck Farm, great fruit trees and berry bushes. My dad also loved making his own bread. | Go onto history.org and go to About us, and then Career at CW. Hands down the Winter is my favorite time of year there. |
There should have been a clause that reverted ownership to CW in the event of negligence. Some lawyer was asleep at the switch. | Williamsburg doesn't have the money to take it back. That's why they sold it in the first place. That's why it's important to support places like this so they don't have to make decisions like that. We should protect our historic places. |
I WILL never get tired of screaming HUZZAH!!! | HUZZAH! |
The runners on DOG street. A group of men would wake up at 7am (when we would be getting to work) running in speedos. Got to get up early to catch the worm;) | Here's another funny story. Once, while interpreting outside of the windmill a family rushed up to me. Please tell us more about that pig in the field. We have never seen such a fuzzy pig and my children want to know more about him. The only animal out in the field was a sheep and she was a ewe. |
Oxford commas! Leggings, puffy shirts, and bonnets for me. | To quote Vampire Weekend "Don't give a fuck about an Oxford comma." |
Absolutely hillarious Halloween one-liners! The largest collection of Halloween one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. See TOP 10 Halloween one liners. Cemetery Jokes For Halloween Q: Where is the cemetery? A: It's in the dead centre of town! Q: Why is that cemetery so popular? A: People have always been dying to get in! Q: Why couldn't the skeleton get into the cemetery? A: He had no body to go with! Q: What is thing is dead and… Halloween Jokes; Halloween Joke Gallery; Halloween Joke Gallery 2; Halloween Jokes. All The Best Halloween ... Here are the best Halloween jokes to get the whole family in the spooky spirit, from clever Halloween knock-knock jokes to hilarious one-liners and puns. A Collection of short, funny Halloween and monster-related jokes. These one-liners are freakishly hilarious!“> Halloween Jokes and Riddles - Halloween jokes for when all the horror gets too much. Laugh at our huge collection of the funniest Halloween jokes and funny Halloween humor. Huge collection of Halloween jokes for adults, halloween humor, funny halloween jokes all things to make a happy Halloween . Funny Halloween Jokes - Halloween riddles can make your holiday more fun & a bit more tricky! When we were gathering our favorite Halloween Jokes for Kids, there were a few that went over the kids’ heads just a little bit.Those are the jokes and riddles that ended up on our list of Halloween Jokes for Adults!We did keep this list family-friendly even though there are definitely some funny Halloween jokes that go in a different adult direction. Halloween Short Jokes What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man! Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk! What do you call a cheesy halloween dance? The muenster mash! Why couldn't the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie. What Halloween tradition doesn't require a mask? S-Karen. Thank goodness for Halloween ... Jokes; 57 best Halloween jokes and the funniest spooky one-liners “What did the skeleton say to the bartender? I’ll have two beers and a mop…” By Alex Nelson. October 31, 2020 4:46 am ... I’ve added a few dirty Halloween jokes for 2019, but can’t get too x-rated since these dirty jokes are only one click away from the Halloween jokes for kids page. These Halloween jokes for adults are a little too mature for little eyes and ears so adults only from this point on! Scroll to the bottom for the section with dirty Halloween jokes. Happy Halloween Jokes Halloween Riddles And Jokes 2020. Halloween is a fun-loving festival and it has only two flavors. One is scary while the other one is funny. You can both scare people or make people laugh. If you are willing to spread happiness with the help of Happy Halloween jokes adults then you just have to find the most appropriate ...
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Talking about Pink and girlfriends & wives. Hilarious one liners & short jokes by comedian Darren Brinkworth. Live stand up comedy. More short jokes, hilarious one liners, funny short jokes, adult ... Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast series featuring Comedy Vignette #35 which is your number one source for funny jokes for adults, funny ... We are doing new pranks all summer long. http://ziggacakedup.com/ Happy Halloween! Scary Snowman Prank Vine http://ziggacakedup.com/ Happy Halloween! Big tha... Welcome to All Things Foolish™ Daily Comedy Broadcast 'Vignette #59' which is your number one source for favorite jokes, favorite one liner jokes, favorite short jokes, funniest jokes, the best ... Best Halloween jokes from bad puns to one linersIt's Halloween, which means everyone is preparing to trick or treat and scare the hell out of people.If you'r... Rude adult jokes about things a guy wishes every woman knew. Rules for women made by guys. Funny hilarious adult joke about women and the 25 rules list guys made for them. Check Out The Funny Jerk ... Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.
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