So, I will preface this by saying that I don't go on Reddit much, but do read a lot of stories (mostly in youtube compilations). Also, I don't know anything about QAnon. But in describing... everything that happened with my stepdad, my fiancée told me I should post my story here. So that's what I will do. It's a long one.
So I have a lot of baggage. My parents (mom and stepdad; dad has been out of the picture for a long time now) were emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive. Never physically, though. To this day, they gaslight and try to manipulate me, and I am sure this has contributed to my lost memories. I have trust and relationship issues now too.
It really started when my stepdad came into the picture. My father was angry, drunk, and did hard drugs. Refused to work or parent, just played Call of Duty and online poker. My mom was miserable, playing the buffer between us and him, worked the shit shift at a shit job to provide for us, and did her best to find time to be a parent to me and my 3 siblings around all that.
Then the divorce happened, and she was a single parent of 4 kids with an addict ex-husband who refused to (and still has not to this day) pay child support. Shortly after she meets my stepfather. He brings us all to his church (which he has since quit for being too liberal and money-hungry). It is all well and fine, for a while. He is really nice, mom is happy, we have a man taking up a fatherly role in our lives for the first time ever. Then things start feeling... off...
He starts making arbitrary rules and disciplining us with his fucked up mind games. I remember one time, to make me and my brother stop bickering, he threatened to make us stay in each others' bedrooms. Sleep in each others' beds. Not be allowed back to our own room. For a few days. Another time, he took my brother's door off the hinges and gave him zero privacy for backtalking him. Dishes HAD to be done by hand, no more using the fully functional dishwasher, for no reason other than he said so. We had to do it in a super specific way he showed us too. One time he sent me and my brother into our rooms for an hour to each come up with a written list on how we would punish ourselves if he ever caught us bickering again, and pray he approved it, because we didn't want to know what HE could come up with.
He had all of us pick out our 3 most favorite things we owned. Then told us that if we ever pissed him off too badly, he would throw away everything we owned besides our beds, clothes, our bible, and those 3 items we picked. He would steal small toys and trinkets we had from us so he could "surprise" us as adults with them unexpectedly. I have gotten a few long-lost beloved toys back already. I once got caught hanging out with a friend at her house one day. College classes let out super early and I wasn't keen on going home to my toxic house, so I hung out at my friend's until the usual time to go home. My cousin had spotted me leaving the college by chance and called my house to make sure I was meant to be out that way (it was a ways away from home, I was with someone he hadn't met, and he didn't know I was in college). When I got home, I was tasked with writing down every lie I had ever told, or else I would lose everything I owned besides my bed, bible, clothes, and 3 favorite belongings.
The stories go on and on, and I don't even remember a lot of them because I have apparently repressed a lot of memories.
We weren't allowed cell phones or videogames. Computer was for school work only and he would monitor all the stuff you did it administratively from his computer. If you were even one second late coming home, heaven help you. Not allowed to buy a car before the day I moved out. He would brag about planning on kicking my younger brother out on his 18th birthday. If you "messed up" and did anything wrong within a week of spending time with a friend, they were a "bad influence" and were never allowed to see them again outside of school. Unless the friend was useful to them, like one friend who gave me rides to and from college (I did a program where I took college classes while in high school).
He believed, and outright stated, that since he was a teenager once upon a time that he knew everything we thought. We made an innocent mistake, like forgot to check to see if any dishes needed to be washed before watching TV? No, we chose to do it intentionally as an act of rebellion just to piss him off. And we were liars if we claimed otherwise. Whenever anything bad happened and it involved us at all, we would get in trouble if we did not accept 100% of the responsibility and blame. Example: if there was an unexpected change in plans and it left us in a tight spot, it was our fault for not planning better. If we ran out of something we needed (for like cooking or school) it was our fault for not letting mom know before her last trip to the store.
He would use his religion as an excuse to rule over the whole family, including my mom, with an iron fist. What he says, goes. I remember one time he started screaming at me for wearing the same shirt to church every week (we were forced to go) and I said it was because it was the only nice dress-shirt-type of shirt I had. Mom defended me and said I didn't have any other "nice" shirts to wear. He called her a bad wife for arguing with him. To him, the man of the house was the leader. The wife and children are meant to be obedient, and obey everything he says without question. In turn, it is man's duty to lead and provide for the family. He, and my mom, believe that mental illness (such as ADHD, ADD, anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc...) are all made up by people who want attention and the only "real" mental disorders are the super bad ones like schizophrenia. Super convenient for a narcissist, right?
My stepdad is not only a narcissist, but also one of those crazy conspiracy theorists. Anti-vaxxer, flat-Earther, the whole 9 yards. We've never been to space or the moon. "They" are spraying chemtrails in the sky all day every day from airplanes. "They" (meaning "the bad guys" which may mean some or all of the following: the USA government, the satan-worshipping illuminati, the sheeple, the World government, the evil ultra-rich bazillionares who sold their souls for their success and run the world... you get the picture). The Catholic church is actually secretly the illuminati and the Pope is their leader. The Coronavirus is just a massive lie made up by Them so they could hard-reset the world economy and train us to follow orders and so They can see how far They can push us before we even notice or take action. The vaccine is evil and poison and may or may not contain a microchip. The "Mark of the beast" in the bible will be a government-issued microchip used to track you and assign you a social score and all that shit. They want to take out guns so we have no way of defending ourselves against Them when They send the military out. All of these conspiracies he gets from a mix of websites. I won't name any, but I know of a few. Because growing up, we were forced to "research" and read "news articles" off these websites daily. He flip-flops between singing Trump's praises and berating him as just another corrupt government official who lied his way into office with false promises to the "woke" people. But I guarantee you that he would applaud the insurrection that happened on the news today.
He started pushing all of his views onto my mom and siblings. With... mixed reception. All of us shrug off some of the really crazy ones, like how all celebrities make deals with demons for their fame. But my mom and 2 of my siblings have started believing a lot of what he says. Now they are also flat-Earther anti-vaxxers who point at clouds and cry "chemtrails!" I just try to avoid politics and any of these crazy theories whenever I spend time with my family. I don't do a lot of talking with them at all, actually. I am either lying and deflecting to keep them from prying too deeply into my life, or sitting quietly while my stepdad goes on a rant.
My stepdad can be really creepy. When I still lived there, I would occasionally sit on his knee (a habit I picked up as a kid, and I would still do it to be "affectionate" and fly under his radar, he loved and encouraged it), but when I got older he would start to rub my thighs, my back really close to my ass, and my sides close to my chest. Made me super uncomfortable so I quit doing that. Never went any beyond that, and I am not sure it was even intentional. I ask my sister (who still lives with him and my mom) every time I see her if he has ever done anything inappropriate or made her uncomfortable, and she says he hasn't. Also he has this weird obsession with my, my sister's, and my mom's feet? Mainly mine though, since they are the softest. That also weirds me out.
They have put me through Hell and back. This all kept up until I moved out at 19, and they tried every tactic under the sun to get me to move back. Mainly my stepdad was the problem, but my mom isn't innocent either. She let this happen. She went along with it. And she became part of the problem when she started supporting the abuse from my stepdad, and believing in his crazy conspiracy theories. Plus, she was homophobic and racist to begin with. Throw in a hefty dose of believing in and pressuring me and my sister into gender stereotyped roles (expects us to be homemaker housewife baby machines) and she adds her own problems into the mix. Also, she straight up ignored me and accused me of lying and saying hateful things out of anger the one time I told her that I hated my stepdad and what he put me through. I told her all this after the incident I described above, where I went to a friend's house instead of home when college let out early. She gaslights and manipulates me too. Mainly to feel small, scared, and like I need to run to them for advice and help. She wants me back under her thumb. She wants me to move away from my current house, because I am living with a roomate she hates (a "bad influence" friend and one whose house she is not welcome at).
Despite all of that, I don't cut contact with my family. I don't even argue with them. I spot manipulation when I can and acknowledge it internally. I don't call them out on it. I don't challenge or argue about politics, or these conspiracy theories, or their racism or homophobia. I don't rock the boat. Because at the end of the day, I still love my mom and siblings. Despite all their flaws. I would be devastated if they were no longer in my life. But it chips away at me, every minute I spend with them. Every homophobic comment I have to just swallow, because I know I could never tell them I am a lesbian and am engaged to a woman. It kills me to have to hide her away, like a dirty secret, and I know it hurts her too. But I don't know what to do from here. I feel awful not challenging my family, but I feel it is a lost cause. I could never change their minds, only lose them from my life. I know it is inevitable anyways, but I still don't cut my family out. Partly because the fallout would be NUCLEAR, and partly because I want to put it off as long as possible so I still have them in my life.
Anyways, I doubt anyone will see this. But it feels good to get this off my chest a bit. Thanks to anyone who did take the time to read this.
submitted by Part 3! Incase you missed it:
Part 2 -
https://www.reddit.com/OverwatchUniversity/comments/jpwh0d/an_overwatch_terminology_guide_part_2_ho/ --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Papa Jeff
“Can’t wait for the next update, hope Papa Jeff doesn’t nerf Mercy again”
Papa Jeff is the affectionate term the Overwatch community came up with for Jeff Kaplan, the lead designer for Overwatch and Vice President of Blizzard Entertainment. Jeff has regular video updates for the community, and is very active in the Blizzard forums and community at large. Jeff has become somewhat of a meme generator for fans, who relish his presence in much the same way the Steam Community does to Gabe Newell.
Payload
“Let’s keep 2 on the Payload and 4 push up for Map Control”
Some might have you believe the Payload is a mythical beast, a timid creature that is skittish when approached. In reality, things are much different. The Payload is an objective vehicle that needs escorting from point to point on a Map. It provides an aura of healing to those in close proximity, and travels at its fastest with 3 people accompanying it. Memes aside, sometimes players will get carried away and completely forget it exists, continuing to fight the enemy, and forgetting that the Payload needs people to stay close to it, in order for it to move forward. Do yourself a favor and try and keep at least one person on Payload duty. Whenever possible.
Peek
“McCree, stop peeking…they have a Widow with LOS”
To “Peek” is to poke your head out of cover in order to get sight lines on the enemy. Often times risking getting it blown off by a sharpshooter, or giving away your position to the enemy. A lot of folks will “peek” in and out of cover whilst firing off a shot here and there to try and get a quick pick on a squishy, and turn the tide in your team’s favor. For long range characters, peeking is a way of life. Zenyatta, Widow, Ana, These are characters that are highly prone to focus fire and as such, need to be careful when and where they show themselves. Remember that peeking works both ways, that Zenyatta is equally as likely to fire a volley of balls to your face as your are to take his off. Peek at your own risk.
Peeling
“Hey D.Va, Tracer on me, can i get peels please?”
Peeling in Overwatch is not the mispronunciation of healing that it sounds like, but rather an entirely different act of selflessness. It is the art of helping a weaker, more vulnerable team mate from an enemy team member who has their sights set on them. For example, Peeling might look like D.Va charging and defense matrixing a pesky Tracer about to pulse bomb your healer. It might look like a Lucio, hopping into the backline to speed a fellow support away from certain doom via Doomfist, It just means “Help take the attention of this asshole away from me” essentially. Peeling for your backline due to their high likelihood of being focussed is ALWAYS a good idea.
Pharmercy
“Ok, they have a Pharmercy, can we please get a hitscan to focus them down?”
Encountering a Pharmercy in the wild is not dissimilar to encountering a Kangaroo in the wild. It’s exciting and magnificent to see up close…until it punches you in the face. Continuing with the Overwatch tradition of mashing two names together to make a new thing. A Pharmercy is when you have a Pharah being pocketed by a Mercy who is essentially attached to them like a small angelic tail. Except that little angel is giving the already irritating-to-fight Pharah basically infinite heals and boosting her rockets to lethal levels. Good times. The only sure fire counter to a Pharmercy is a hitscan hero with good aim. Take out the Mercy, then take out the Pharah - and prepare to do it all over again in about 20 seconds. The plus side to this is that if Mercy is pocketing Pharah, she is likely ignoring the rest of her team mates, who will hopefully be being mopped up at street level. A miserable trade off in the long run.
Pick
“Widow can you pick that Ana? She’s out of position”
Getting a “Pick” means getting a kill. It’s usually more associated with the singular term. It’s short for “Picking off” as in you “picked off the Healer from the team” or “picked off an over extending DPS player”. Often times the first pick can be the deciding factor in a team fight. Assuming the other team doesn’t equalize relatively fast.
Ping
“Sorry guys, my ping is letting me down right now”
Not at all exclusive to Overwatch, but commonly mentioned. Ping is the time it takes to send a message between your computer and a server. It is usually measured in milliseconds. The rate of your Ping determines how much you are lagging. The higher the Ping, the worse you’re lagging. This is one of the major reasons that the world cup is such an important event in Overwatch. Different parts of the world have different ping rates, so it would be difficult for an Australian to play with an American without the Australian bering at a severe disadvantage, due to Ping rate.
Pirate Ship
“Focus that Bastion before they can build a Pirate Ship!”
Right next to Pharmercy in the “things-you-don’t-wanna-see-jump-out-of-spawn” list is a composition simply known as “Pirate Ship”. Pirate ship can be ran in a multitude of different ways with three main static characters - Orisa, Bastion & Mercy. The principle is simple, Orisa and Bastion jump on the Payload, Orisa places a shield in front of Bastion, Mercy boosts Bastions damage. Bastion kills all the fucking things. Trying to dislodge the Bastion from his fortress is nigh on impossible given Orisa’s shield and halt capabilities. Not to mention Mercy’s heals and Rez. Not to mention Bastion can heal himself and i haven’t even started on the three accompanying players yet. For maximum efficiency, There will usually be another shield of some kind, a Sniper & a Zenyatta for Orb usage and more distant DPS like attacks. Truly, it is a thing to fear. Unless you know the secret to break it. More on that in another video.
Pocketing
“That Mercy is pocketing the Junkrat, be careful!”
A “Pocket” in Overwatch means you have another player enabling your success as much as possible. It is usually a phrase used in reference to Mercy, since that’s kind of her thing. However, it is entirely possible to have a Moira or even an Ana “Pocket” you, just by never leaving your side. A Mercy Pocket is the most revered & feared though. The only way to break a Pocketed Tank or DPS is to simply break the Pocket. That means focus down the slippery Mercy, before trying to tackle the task at hand. Mercy is exceptionally good at dodging & staying hidden, and often this task may not be as simple as it seems.
Pogchamp
“Zen! - clutch trans! - fuckin’ Pogchamp!”
Ok, so this one’s weird. The original “Pogchamp” meaning is based off a promo for the Mad Catz Fightstick featuring an eSports player by the name of Gootecks. Basically the dude pulled a stupid face in a video about POGS (the 90’s game) and the internet collectively thought it was hilarious and made it into a Twitch emote. It became associated with being “Hype” or “Excited” by a particular play in a competitive eSports game. Since then, it has kind of been adopted by the Overwatch community because it happens to be so close to POTG or “Play Of The Game” - some Overwatch players will use it as shorthand for POTG. There are many variations on the theme. Pog, Poggers & Pogchamp being the most popular. So yeah, if someone says you are Pog or Pogchamp…thank them.
Poke Damage
“Don’t over extend for poke damage, we can’t let them get a pick”
Poke Damage is the pre-fight damage that players will do to one another before all hell breaks loose. usually done from distance, whilst the Tanks start to create space. It’s an important time for healers to take advantage of because usually poke damage is small and easy to heal. building the ult charge of your healers when they top you up. The poke phase of a fight can be slightly precarious because if the enemy has a competent sniper or character with one shot ability - they can pick you off. So be sneaky, use your shield tank or cover and try to get a successful pick before the fight initiates for real.
Popping Off
“Ashe is popping off right now, stay clear”
Not exclusive to Overwatch, but commonly used. “Popping Off” means just to have a moment or several moments during the game where you go on a mass kill streak. That moment when the kill feed is all you and everybody can see it. There is no better feeling than just going ham with a sniper and clicking on multiple heads to the point where the enemy team is cowering in fear behind the closest cover to them and you hear someone on the mic saying “God damn Widow is popping off right now”.
Projectile
“Hanzo is a Projectile DPS, you need to lead your shots a bit”
As touched on briefly in the Leading Shots area. A Projectile DPS is a DPS that does not hit whatever their cursor is on directly if it is a moving target. It takes some travel time, and calculating distance is key to successfully landing multiple shots as a projectile DPS. If the enemy Pharah is giving you shit, it’s usually better to opt for hitscan, since they have more reliable targeting. However there are plenty of excellent projectile DPS players who can stick a Pharah from the sky with a well timed Hanzo arrow. They are just a little rarer to find in the long run. Projectiles also tend to hit a little harder than hitscan bullets and some have One Shot capability. Making them a good choice for heavy damage based comps.
PUGs
“Anyone wanna join a PUG this Saturday?”
A “PUG” is a “Pick Up Game” - taking its influence from more traditional sporting terms, it quite literally just means an organized game ran entirely for practice and training purposes. Often times different Streamers or Overwatch dedicated websites will have some sort of PUGs they organize on a semi regular basis and may even have a “captain picks teams” based system, especially considering that most players are strangers to each other. Generally speaking, those games tend to be less toxic, because everyone is there to appreciate their mistakes and learn from them, as a team. A good option for those of you looking to climb
Push
“Don’t hang around in choke, let’s push on the first pick”
Pushing is just the act of instigating forward momentum and aggressive play towards the enemy team. Overwatch is a game of momentum. Unless the enemy team has a solid defense and is covering all angles, it’s a way longer trip back to the fight from spawn for them, than you. Often times lower tier teams can get caught up in the poke damage phase and just won’t attempt to go forward even after a pick or two. The art of knowing when and how to push as a team is huge in this game, and very hard to manage correctly without good comms. If your Main Tank pushes hard and no one backs them up. They are likely to die and be more hesitant to push next time when you are ready to follow. This leads to lost games. Don’t be afraid to throw your weight around when somebody flinches. That is the art of the successful push.
QP
“Comp is driving me nuts, wanna QP for a bit?”
QP is short for Quickplay - being the non-competitive “regular” objective-based mode of the game. QP has slightly different rules to ranked play. Basically it’s all or nothing. Either you push the Payload all the way to the end, or you lose. And visa versa. Often times QP can be unbalanced because a lot of people use it as a training ground for competitive Overwatch. So it is not uncommon to have 4 DPS on your team or worse. That being said, since there is no SR to worry about, it tends to be a more chill experience and leads to less frustration in a loss. For some players at least.
Resetting
“We lost three, resetting now, group up”
Resetting means that you have likely lost a few players, and the team fight is considered to be lost, therefore rather than trickling in one at a time and getting murdered for it consistently. You decide to wait until you have a full team of 6 in a safe place, before attempting a team fight at maximum advantage to you. Resetting as a team is hugely important in a game like Overwatch, where seconds are everything. The faster your baby
D.Va jumps to her doom and joins you in spawn with her mech, the faster you can get grouped up and try again.
Rez
“Mercy, can i get a Rez? Thank you!”
Rez is short hand for Resurrection. The hero Mercy has the ability to bring a downed player back into the fight on the spot. Avoiding the slow respawn and trek back into the fight. Originally she had the ability to Rez every single dead team mate in the vicinity as her Ultimate ability, however Blizzard (and most of the gaming world) deemed this a little too frustrating and it got nerfed down to being a regular ability she could only perform on one player with a hefty cooldown period. There is also a Spray in game with “HUGE REZ” on it which Mercy Main players can use as a nostalgic tribute to the old times.
Roll Out
“Sick Roll Out Lucio, you got three of ‘em!”
A Roll Out is essentially a player taking the fastest route possible to the objective, often times using tricky and unconventional routes, with the sole purpose of either capping point fast, or getting a few cheeky kills in before the first team fight, maybe demoralizing the enemy. Pretty much every mobile hero has a Roll Out Subreddit at this point, if you feel like checking out some of the cooler ones.
SBE
“The easiest way to reset is to SBE as soon as possible if you lose a few team mates”
SBE is more something you would see in a written format than a verbal command. to “SBE” is to “Suicide By Environment”. Which is not quite as terrifying as it sounds. Essentially, if you lose a few people in a team fight, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to drag the fight out to the expected loss, wasting valuable time and making it more likely for your team to start trickling in to their certain doom. The idea being that if your team mates die fast, you should follow fast. You’re not always in the best position to do that, but in most maps, there is somewhere you can take matters in to your own hands. The most common character to have to submit to this fate is usually Baby
D.Va. Once demeched, Baby
D.va will often be staggered by the enemy in order to try and create the trickling effect described earlier. Keeping her alive as long as possible while she is considerably less of a threat. This means that when she does kick the bucket - the whole enemy team has to wait ten more seconds before they can attack as a full 6-stack. So it is often Baby
D.Va seen taking the plunge in order to prevent this from happening.
SR
“My SR has been taking wild swings lately, I can’t seem to climb”
SR stands for Skill Rating and is the bane of most Overwatch players’ existence. Essentially if you win games, it raises, if you lose, it lowers. This of course is largely more due to the underlying MMR discussed previously. One thing we didn’t mention before was that somewhere around 3000 SR (also known as Diamond) the amount of SR generated for a win or a loss becomes a lot more team-based, than individual performance based. Something worth baring in mind for when you reach those ranks.
Salt
“Man, that Tracer’s gonna feel salty after that play, nice work”
The term Salt isn’t exclusive to Overwatch (or gaming in general, obviously). The term is a reference to “Salty Tears” - which are tears derived from anger or frustration. They have an increase in pitta, fall down the center of the eye and are salty to the taste. Hence if you make a sick play or continually punish the same player, you might assume they are getting a little salty about it. Salt incidentally, also leads to Tilt. Which is a whole other ballgame, and actually helps those opposing it.
Scatter
“I really miss Scatter, sure it was cheap to squishies, but Storm Arrow burns down tanks way too fast”
Scatter is in reference to Scatter Arrow which was a much hated ability of Hanzo for a very long time. Essentially Hanzo would fire an arrow that would then split into multiple arrows flying around the map geometry at random and crazy angles. This meant Hanzo could shoot one into a small room and potentially nail a bunch of squishies inside without actually aiming for them. He could even aim directly at the floor before someones feet, for a near guaranteed kill, as multiple arrows bounced up and chopped off a hero ankles. This ability was eventually removed by Blizzard and replaced with Storm Arrow, in which Hanzo shoots several arrows in rapid succession, but he actually has to aim them, making it slightly less cheap overall.
Shot Call
“Is everyone ok if i shot call? I’ve been trying to practice”
Shot calling is exactly what it sounds like…calling the shots in the game. What those shots sound like can vary depending on level, hero and dedication. Typically they might just be calling out hero positions, which is definitely useful advice. However, the better amongst them will be calling out when a particular hero’s escape ability is on cooldown, when a tank is discorded or will actually talk about which Ults to use or not to use in the upcoming engagement. Good shot callers win games. It’s really that simple.
Sight Lines
“Stay out of Widow’s sight lines, she’s popping off”
Sight lines are usually more associated to snipers, or hero’s with zero fall off damage. Essentially, if they can kill you, you are in their sight line. This is an important consideration to make, considering the objective based nature of the game - and also the potential ability of the hero in question. If you’re on a Payload based map, usually the potential sight lines run a large distance, making a good sniper, a very dangerous proposition. Knowing an enemies sight lines and whether they have fall off damage or not is vital to staying alive in any given situation.
Skrim
“We have a Skrim set up for 8pm Saturday night, make sure you’re warmed up”
A Skrim in Overwatch is a Skirmish. Be aware, there are two kinds of Skirmish though. The one you might be thinking of is a setting where you basically fuck around unendingly pre-match until enough players are ready to start a game. You know, the one where Widow waves at you, blows you a kiss, then shoots you in the left eye. The other, and the one with which this shorthand term derives. Is a predetermined pro rules match for training purposes. The difference between PUGs and Skrims is that Skrims are usually an actual “team” Vs “team” semi-professional setting, whereas in PUGs, most players are random, don’t know each other and are sorted onto teams at the beginning of the match. Professional Skrims are very interesting to watch because this is where the meta is made. Teams will try out set plays and interesting compositions to see what works for when they get into actual league or ladder games. All of this without the pressure of losing SR or professional matches.
Slept
“Rein Slept, don’t attack, he has shatter”
When an enemy is “slept” in Overwatch, that means they had a less than ideal encounter with Ana and caught the business end of a sleep dart. Ana’s darts will put an enemy to sleep for a decent whack of time, in which any damage taken will wake them up and put them right back in the game. Therefore it is imperative that the team be aware of the slept enemy, so they can avoid accidentally waking them up. The team can then focus down the sleeping giant and kick the shit out of them upon waking. In the instance of a squishy, Ana has a combo that if performed correctly will take them out in a few blows herself. All of this of course, is assuming she lands the dart in the first place, which is an art unto itself.
Spawn
“Tracer is spawn camping, can we get someone to take her out back here”
Spawn is your home, your safe haven, where nothing can hurt you. Which is exactly why particularly aggressive teams will want to shove you right back into it after capping point. Spawn is the only place you can change hero’s, and also a good place to reset as a team if things don’t go your way. Upon occasion though, an enemy flanker might make spawn significantly less safe by hanging around near it and trying to pick you off one by one on your way back to the fight. This is particularly nasty if you’re an off healer with low mobility like Ana or Zen. Your Spawn will also change, depending on which point you’re at in a match. If you hear someone say they got “the bad spawn” - it means that they spawned right before a point was capped, and they have a long trip back before they can rejoin the fight.
Smurf
“That Widow has to be a smurf, she is ridiculous”
A smurf is an Alt account made by a high level player with the sole purpose of playing in lower ranks and just murdering the shit out of everybody. The term is often used incorrectly by many players, not every Alt account is a smurf. Not every good player is a smurf. It is often bandied around as a derogatory term in much the same way that claiming someone is aimbotting is - when they just happen to be a crack shot. Generally surfs are frowned upon by the community though, for obvious reasons. Playing against them in lower ranks is not a whole lot of fun.
SoloQ
“I climbed from Silver to Plat SoloQ only”
The nature of Overwatch is that it is a team game. However, not everybody feels comfortable playing as a team, or they may be the only one of their friends online. In these instances they will need to queue up by themselves - this is known as Solo Queueing. You are subjecting yourself to playing with 5 random people and hoping that you have some kind of synergy with them in order to rise. Some may have mics, some may not, some may talk, some may not, some are trolls, throwers or leavers, some of people you enjoy playing with so much you will become friends for life. Such is the nature of the beast in Overwatch.
Solo ULT
“Man, i must have pissed off that Rein, he just Solo ULT’d me”
The solo ULT is a special form of payback, when you’re so mad at someone, or someone is so mad at you that you decide to use your ultimate ability for one guaranteed kill on someone who you think really deserves it. In some instances this makes sense, let’s say you have a particularly difficult enemy who is carrying the team and they just need to learn a lesson or two, or maybe you’re having an issue with an enemy Pharah that no one seems to be able to land hits on. Most of the time however, it’s pure vengeance. If you find yourself getting Solo ULT’d by the enemy - you can be rest assured you’re doing something right.
Squishy
“Widow, focus Squishies when we burst down Rein’s shield”
A “Squishy” in Overwatch is simply a character with a lower health pool. No shield (with the possible emption of Zenyatta), No armor, essentially a hero that could be burst down relatively easily with some simply focussed fire. They are susceptible to One Shot Kills and from certain combo’s. They also tend to have to rely on health packs a little more than the tanks do, being as tanks are usually one of the primary focusses of the main healer. A squishy is one of the easiest picks to make in order to make the team fight uneven, so whereas the Tanks tend to draw a lot of the aggression, Squishies should realistically be the first pick you’re trying to make. I can only assume the name comes from the fact they are “soft and squishy” - therefore easy to kill.
Stagger
“Don’t let Baby D.Va jump, stagger her as long as possible”
To “stagger” the enemy is try and make sure they get killed later than the rest of their team, thus creating a staggering effect to the enemy spawn time, before they reach a full 6-stack again. The longer you wait to kill, the longer the respawn time, the longer the stagger. We discussed this briefly referring to SBE and Baby D.Va in particular. It works with anybody though. If you see an Ana hobbling back to reset with her team after a lost fight, maybe a cheeky one shot to the back of the head will take her out and force the enemy to wait an additional ten seconds to reengage so that they can get their healer back. Staggering causes trickling also, for teams who don’t wait before reengaging, and ultimately teams that trickle waste more time and are far more likely to lose the team fight if they continue to roll in one or two at a time.
Stall
“Lucio, back in 6 with Ult - STALL!”
Stalling simply means to try and keep an objective actively contested for as long as possible by being evasive and giving your team time to get back to the fight. This is especially prevalent during Overtime, in which failure to stall can result in the loss of a match. Certain “hard to kill” characters tend to be best for the job of stalling. Lucio, Mei, Moira, Tracer - all these heroes either have high mobility or high sustain and can keep themselves alive through thick and thin. Making them ideal candidates for stalling a point. The hope of the successful stall is that you buy your team time to get back and join the fight, and that at least one or two of them have some particularly powerful ultimates they can use to turn the fight back in their favor.
Steam Rolled
“Dude….we’re getting Steam Rolled. We HAVE to make some changes”
Getting “Steam Rolled” is one of the least fun experiences in the game of Overwatch. What it essentially means is that the enemy team has got their shit together so tightly that you essentially don’t stand a chance. every attempt you make to get a pick is thwarted, Bastion is chewing up your Tanks so they can’t create space, essentially the enemy is on the choo choo train to victory with no stop signs in sight - and it feels like there is nothing you can do about it…you can, of course.
However, it is going to require some tactical considerations and some smart hero counter play to get there. Sometimes you just don’t have the team synchronicity in order to do that. Maybe you have some hero hold outs or no one is willing to play a certain counter character - this scenario is common in SoloQ play. In which instance you’ll just have to taste the grainy salt of defeat and hope to god you can steam roll them on your attack. God speed.
Taxi
“Lucio, can i get a taxi please?”
Lucio has a unique ability within the game that allows him to create an aura of speed within a circular proximity of himself. Any hero within that circle will move faster than normal. To add to that, he can also “amp up” this aura for an even bigger boost in speed gain to himself and those within his aura. Upon occasion, a hugely important, but slow moving hero - like Orisa - will be taken out of the fight, and you need to get her back in as soon as possible. Assuming the Spawn isn’t too far away from the point, sometimes it’s a good idea to have Lucio wall ride his way back to spawn and provide Orisa with a “taxi” back to point. amping up her speed and helping her rejoin the fight and your team regain the advantage as fast as possible. The other potential use for a taxi is for Mercy’s Guardian Angel Ability. This allows her to fly at great speed towards a hero, but of course she needs a hero to fly to. Often times someone will drop back a little to spawn within her range and make it faster and easier for such an important character to get back to the fight.
Thrower
“This guy is a thrower - god dammit this sucks - i’ve lost enough SR today”
A thrower is a term applied to someone who is actively throwing the game in favor of your opposition. Either by using trolling tactics like blocking you into spawn with an Ice Wall, or simply not doing much of anything at all. You may see a Symmetra building teleports next to a cliff edge, or a Torb hanging around enemy spawn waving at them. People who are actively throwing the game are usually tilted beyond belief and find it more amusing to ruin their teams chances of success than to actually work through their frustrations and join the team as an active participant. I won’t sugar coat it….throwers are utter twats that deserve whatever punishment comes their way. They ruin the game for everybody involved, and frankly i wish the punishment if caught was way more severe.
Tilt
“I’m not gonna lie, this Tracer just tilted me off the face of the planet”
The term tilt derives from Poker. In Poker, a player might have taken a big risk and lost, or continuously make lots of mistakes - and eventually gotten to the point when rationality and reason is not dictating how they play. They’re running on pure emotion, and not in a good “gut instinct” kind of way. In a reckless abandonment kind of way. When an Overwatch player gets tilted, it means they are angry, upset, frustrated, snapping at team mates, yelling at the enemy (who can’t hear them) and is generally playing like an asshole. It’s not necessarily their fault. Overwatch is a HUGELY emotional game and tilt can get the best of anyone. The downside to it is that, the more titled you become, the worse you play….thus leading to further tilt. The best way to rectify tilt is to stop, leave the game, take a break, and come back later. For some this might mean fucking about in Mystery Heroes for a bit, for others this might mean taking their dog for a walk. Either way, no one has ever cured Overwatch tilt by playing more competitive Overwatch. So take a deep breath, and go do something different for a while. It’s worth it in the long run.
Touch
“Lucio can you touch? I have Ult”
To “Touch” in Overwatch is to make sure at least one of your team mates is on objective as the clock winds to zero, enabling Overtime to kick in. Thus giving your team a tiny sliver of a chance to potentially turn the tide and get back in the game. Sometimes of course, this is an impossibility, but that won’t stop people screaming at everybody to do it over the microphone though. Once point is touched, try your best to stay alive as long as possible by stalling, and even trying to get a pick on a priority enemy, such as a healer. Making it easier for subsequent team mates to make more of an impact on the team fight when they arrive.
Trash Damage
“Soldier, you’re just doing Trash Damage right now, wait until we clear choke”
Trash Damage is damage inflicted upon the enemy that barely makes a dent and is easily healed by the enemy healers or overall has no use. The reason why it is less than ideal is because you are essentially feeding the ultimate charge of the enemy healers, giving them a way to counter any of your own team’s ultimates in any upcoming fights. Poke Damage and Trash Damage can be hard to distinguish. The best i’ve ever come to differentiating the two is where the damage is aimed, and what it’s trying to accomplish. Are you trying to take down a Squishy in hopes of securing a pick? That’s Poke. Are you trying to tease out enemy Widow shots so your Widow can get sight lines on her? That’s Poke. Are you firing half a clip into a Reinhardt shield or an Orisa? That’s trash. Are you shooting at a Zarya Bubble? That trash. Are you continually taking small amounts of health from the enemy without getting close to a pick on anything? That’s trash. Honestly it can be hard to distinguish, but as i said…purposeful and aimed precisely seems to take you out of trash into poke territory.
Trickling
“Guys, we’re trickling…let’s group up near spawn please”
A sin of great magnitude and one of the first things that separates higher level play from lower is “trickling”. Trickling is when one or two of your team members die, then proceed to run back to the fight as other members die, causing them to fight at a disadvantage. By the time the secondary deaths get back to the fight, the first ones have already died, and thus the cycle continues. Basically guaranteeing that you’re not going to be taking a fair 6 Vs 6 fight any time soon, and will likely continue to lose the majority of your team fights, and the match at large if it keeps happening. The only way to prevent trickling is to group up. So if you see a team mate spamming the group up button and or asking over mic for your team to group up. Consider it tantamount to “Hey….if you guys actually wanna win this….we have to fight as a team” and group the fuck up.
Troll Pick
“Why you gotta choose a troll pick man? We have a chance here”
A “Troll Pick” is when someone chooses a hero so laughably bad for the composition or just in the meta in general, that the other team members think they have to be trolling. Some characters have gone from widely considered to be Troll Picks to being completely viable after a Buff. The opposite is also true. Essentially, almost any hero can be viable in any composition as long as they are in the right hands. I see Troll Picks more of unnecessary picks myself. The 4th DPS….regardless of hero….would be a “troll pick” in my eyes. In general though, if someone claims you are making a Troll pick, they are saying that the hero you are using is not viable in this composition, meta or the game in general….therefore you must be messing with them.
ULT
“Anyone Ult tracking that Rein? Be on guard”
If you haven’t figured it out by now, Ult is shorthand or Ultimate and is in reference to a hero’s Ultimate Ability. Ult’s are game changing moves that can wipe an entire team, save an entire team, trap an entire team, see an entire team through walls, buff an entire team, the list goes on. Most team fights are won when Ults are used correctly. They are easy to waste, and not necessarily easy to build - depending on your gaming prowess of course. At high level play, players will track enemy Ults and the likelihood that they will have one available to use by the next team fight, this comes in useful by predetermining counter measures. This is referred to simply as “Ult Tracking”. You may also hear the term “Ult Economy” - this is in reference to which team has the most Ult’s available to them going into an engagement. They would be the winner of the Ult Economy. Ults are one of the hands down, most important things about Overwatch and winning team fights. Knowing when to use them, when not to, when to combine them - it’s all an art form and part of what makes some teams truly great.
Visor
“Soldier has Visor - stay by cover”
Visor is shorthand for Tactical Visor - otherwise known as Soldier 76’s Ultimate Ability. It essentially means that whatever he shoots at during the time frame the Ultimate is active will be a guaranteed hit. It is even more worth paying attention to this call out if you are a Squishy, as you may be taken down very quickly without any kind of cover to escape behind, but the Ult is generally well avoided by everyone by just staying out of Soldier’s sight lines.
Wall Hacks
“Widow has Wall Hacks, wave everyone”
Widowmaker’s Ult allows her and her entire team to see through walls through the map at exactly where you are. This would be scary enough if only she could see you, but if the whole team knows where you are, you have to tread extra lightly for a period of time. Players lovingly refer to this Ultimate as “Wall Hacks” - since she can see through a wall. technically it’s called Infrasight. Once again though, shorter syllables and a more recognizable terminology won out - therefore you will hear it referred to as “wall hacks” a lot more commonly in game.
Wombo Combo
“Zarya are you ready? Let’s set up a wombo combo!”
A wombo combo is just a nickname for any two abilities that when put together cause mass death. a Grav-Drag is a wombo combo. Using Rocket Barrage into a Grav is a wombo combo. Using Halt to pull people into dragons is a wombo combo. Basically anytime two hero’s combine forces to cause mass death - they have achieved a wombo combo.
Worth
“Ok….dead but, killed the Mercy…worth”
The term “Worth” is simply short for “Worth it”. Upon occasion in Overwatch you make decisions that at the time seem less than optimal, and leads to your death, but you still manage to take out a priority target. A target so valuable that you put the enemy team’s attack on hold until they get that team member back. These would be considered a fair trade in most instances. At times like this you may hear someone exclaim “worth” - what they’re basically saying is “Yup….i fucked up….but it was worth it”
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Apparently I stopped here.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed and that it helped you gra some of the more oscure terms that get thrown around in Overwatch.
✌🏻
submitted by Q. What did the grape say when it was stepped on?
- Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Did that make you laugh? Sure, you may have chuckled when you realized what the joke did, a play on words, a joke that your dad would’ve told you had he not left fifteen years ago, but really, did it make you laugh out loud?
Okay, how about this one?
Q. What kind of organization is Atheism?
- A non prophet organization.
Get it? You do?
That’s great. These are all jokes that I heard from the famous crying joker, Ponmalio.
I didn’t expect anything from the show, but apparently, people travelled from all over the world to see him. That’s what Julius said, anyway.
The first time I heard of him, I heard about it from my business partner, Julius Chad. With a name like that, you’re probably getting a lot of assumptions about him, but hold on to them for a while. I met Julius when I was in college. I had started a website, a profitable one, and was looking for investors. Julius was the trust fund boy and once he heard about my website, he invested a good amount of money that would keep the servers on for a long time.
Q. What do you say to the guy who invented zero?
- Thanks for nothing!
Q. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
- Because he was outstanding in his field!
Keep in mind though, that Julius invested in my internet company back when people believed the internet was a fad. That was a huge deal in and of itself, and he owned a fat 50% share of my firm. That’s how investing works. You put in the money and the money works for you. The opposite of that statement is also true.
Julius first told me about the crying joker, Ponmalio, and he said how finding tickets to it was an elusive affair. And they were very costly. We didn’t have to worry about money, though. I was an expert in negotiation by that time, and years of running an online business had made me as good as Warren Buffett, if Warren Buffett was 83.8 billion dollars poorer.
“Why is he called the Crying Joker?” I asked him on the bright Sunday morning.
“His jokes are so bad, he cries at the end of his shows!” he had said. I didn’t believe it. Someone couldn’t be that bad, right?
Well, it turns out he is. In the show, which could be hardly called a show, I saw the crying joker, Ponmalio, for the first time. It was held in an abandoned basement in a warehouse that seemed to have been used for nothing other than weird comedy shows and failed orgies. There were rusty iron chairs, each lined two in a row and each group of two separated from each other.
I would’ve told you where this was being held, but I legally can’t. When we brought the tickets through an online middleman, we had to sign a legal disclaimer to not disclose the location and we had to pay a significant amount of money for the show.
Q. What’s more amazing than a talking dog?
- A spelling bee.
Q. What does the cell say to his sister when she steps on his toe?
- “Oh my toe sis!”
When Ponmalio came on stage, no one applauded. I had started to put my hands together, but seeing no one clap, I didn’t clap either. Julius was sitting beside me and he gave me a look that screamed, “See, told you this is weird!”
I was still happy Julius had brought me to something. We had a little falling out over the years when I slept with his wife. Our friendship wasn’t the same, but doing stuff like this showed that he had forgiven me.
Q. What happens when you read a book on Anti-Gravity?
- You can’t put it down.
Q. Why can’t you play poker on the African Savanna?
- There are too many cheetahs.
Ponmalio looked like the joker you’d see in any kids’ parties with one difference. The black makeup around his eyes came down in lines along his cheeks. The lines rolled down his cheeks, adding weight to the statement that he was indeed “The crying joker.” He wore a polka-dotted shirt and violet pants. His face was white, dabbed on with as much makeup he had, and red lipstick adorned his lips. The only other weird thing, other than his crying eye makeup, was his hair. His hair was orange and glowing. Yes, glowing. I assumed he had put on a “glow in the dark” orange dye, but then again, I assumed a lot of things wrong.
Q. Why is it always hot in the corner of a room?
- Because a corner is 90 degrees.
Q. What did the bartender say to the burger that walked into a bar?
- Sorry, we don’t serve food here.
After each joke, Ponmalio looked at us from the stage and smiled. Sometimes he even laughed. But no one in the crowd laughed. I’ll admit, I do not have the best taste in humor, but to even some of the jokes, I laughed out loud. The only other person accompanying me to my laughter was a woman from the front of the stands who came with her husband.
Being the only two people who were laughing at some of his jokes, she glanced at me quite a few times from the front. Even Julius beside me wasn’t laughing at anything. I tried elbowing him, whispered, “Come on, that was kinda funny!” but he silently shook his head.
It felt like Julius had been to a lot of Ponmalio shows before. He knew how it went and exactly what to do. Like Julius, no one in the crowd responded to any of Ponmalio’s jokes.
With no applause, Ponmalio kept going. Joke after joke, delivered to a packed audience who watched him silently and shook their heads.
Q. What’s brown and sticky?
- A stick.
Q. Did you hear the rumor about butter?
- Well, I’m not going to spread it!
There was one woman at the front who laughed at many of his jokes. Because she did, she glanced back at me a couple of times, the only other man with a sense of humor who seemed to be laughing and enjoying himself. Her husband was beside her, and like my friend Julius and everyone else in the crowd, he didn’t laugh at any of Ponmalio’s jokes either.
I wasn’t afraid of going against the crowd, ever in my life. That’s what made me so successful. So, after a while, I started laughing at every joke that I found funny. I applauded. I wanted to show Ponmalio that I cared, that he was funny and he deserved the applause.
Q. Why did the old man fall in the well?
- Because he couldn’t see that well!
Q. Why do vampires seem sick?
- They’re always coffin.
After an hour of these jokes, a night which I enjoyed, Ponmalio sat down on the stage and cried. He started sobbing quietly at first, but then started crying. Then he laughed, a sad laughter that seemed to be filled with pain and sorrow. Then he cried again. For five minutes, he kept doing this. Alternating between crying and laughing and crying and laughing.
I asked Julius whether we should leave to which Julius whispered, “No. The best part of the show is almost here.”
As he finished saying this, Ponmalio stood up on the stage. The crying would’ve ruined anyone’s makeup, but his makeup hadn’t changed. Tear drops still rolled down his white cheeks that he didn’t bother wiping off. He held his hands apart, raising them.
Then he clapped.
At first I couldn’t believe what happened after he clapped. The crowd vanished. Julius was gone from beside me. Only I was left, and the woman who was laughing at his jokes from the front row. Her husband was gone too. Literally everyone in the crowd had vanished. The woman was visibly terrified, as she should have been. She got up from her seat and looked around.
“What happens to the people who laugh at Ponmalio’s jokes?” Ponmalio asked with a squeaky voice.
“They all die,” Ponmalio replied, his loud voice echoing through the empty basement. Then he flew down from the stage and, with one swipe of his hands, beheaded the woman in the front row. Blood dripping from the headless head, Ponmalio flew towards me. Time stopped right then. I remember my mind racing. I remember his sharp teeth, his lipstick laden face, the large claws on his hands as he flew at me.
“Wait,” I shouted, closing my eyes. “I can bring you more people who would laugh at these jokes!”
I opened my eyes and felt around my neck. My head was still there, but Ponmalio was still towering over me.
“How many people?” Ponmalio asked.
I thought about it. Three. Maybe, four?
I asked him whether he would kill my friend, Julius, if I brought him thousands of people who would laugh at his jokes. It didn’t seem like Julius had forgiven me for sleeping with his wife, and I wasn’t going to go back to the office knowing he tried to kill me.
Ponmalio agreed. The irony of making a deal with him was not lost on me, nor was the irony of Julius becoming the victim of his own deranged plan.
Anyway, Ponmalio’s sitting beside me as I’m typing this. He’s very excited about traveling the world and killing new people. If you’ve laughed at any of the jokes that you read so far, I have bad news for you.
Be very careful for the next few days.
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